Friendship is always for life, They say - But it’s not necessary true. We make & break friendships all the time..  So what makes best pals fall out with each other?

‘Even when I’m at my worst, I’m best for you. I’ll be there for you, ‘cause you’re there for me too...’ So go the lyrics of the soundtrack to the popular sitcom Friends, and we huddle up with our best pals over a bottle of wine and nod knowingly. Love, trust, understanding - that’s what friends are for.

Without friends, none of us feel complete. Someone to sound off on, have a good natter with, giggle and shop with, someone to see in the rainy days and wild and wicked nights with. What you don’t expect is being let down, feeling used or betrayed. But because of habit or simply poor judgement, we sometimes end up with friends who show more qualities of an enemy than someone who is meant to love you unconditionally. We all take it for granted that our friends will annoy us once in a while and it’s common to fall out after a pointless fight once in a while.

 It’s part and parcel of bonding and growing together. In most cases, a few tears and apologies make everything alright again and very soon, you’re the best of friends again, maybe even stronger than before now you’re had a chance to resolve your differences by facing them head on.

But there are times when friends can take things too far and break the unwritten code of friendship. Their behaviour, in these instances, is inexcusable - at best, they lose your respect for them; at worst, it spells the end of the friendship.

Friendship, like any relationship, has its rules and its boundaries. You don’t have to sign a contract before you embark on a friendship, but you need to check the small print before you make that commitment.

So here then are the Ten Commandments of Friendship no good friend should ever break,  unless they want to run the risk of breaking up altogether...

1. ‘Thou shalt not covet my man’

The 1st rule of any friendship is - keep your hands off my man! You can share lipstick, toothbrushes or even your underwear, but never men. Past or present. - Like a saying normally used by men ‘ they come and go like buses, you miss one, other comes.

2. ‘Thou shalt not steal my opportunities’

Competition, they say, is healthy. One upmanship, on the other hand, is always ugly. You expect it at work, you even look forward to playing the game with certain family members - but it’s not what you have to fear in a friendship. You want to sense your friend is happy about your successes, as you are of hers. Jealousy is an emotion displayed by enemies, not a person who is meant to be so close to you.

3. ‘Thou shalt not help yourself to my purse’

Without trust, friendship isn’t a valid word. And when it comes to finances, you should never need to worry whether they are helping themselves behind your back. When you’re short of cash, it’s common for a friend to loan you some, sometimes to the point where they wouldn’t dream of asking for it back. The thinking being: when they’re in need, you’ll be there to bail them out. When this understanding is ignored, it is bound to create bad feeling.

4. ‘Thou shalt not put me down to make yourself look better’

Friends are there to make each other feel good, looking good, act good. Its common for best friends to put the other one forward, or at least make sure they come across well as a unit rather than as individuals.

5. ‘Thou shalt not reveal my innermost secrets’

‘Can you keep a secret?’ It’s a question friends shouldn’t need to ask, it’s a given. Fair enough if it’s a juicy bit of gossip and your friend is a blabbermouth, but inexcusable if the news gets to the very ears you want to keep it from.

6. ‘Thou shalt not befriend my enemies’

Sitting around with your best pals slagging someone off almost makes having enemies worth it. It’s a good way of confirming all that is great about you and your friend - and if you can’t share a feeling of superiority with your friend, you miss out on the opportunities of being proud of just what a great connection the two of you have.

7. ‘Thou shalt not believe the world revolves around you’

Friends should be equal. A friendship where one feels, or acts, more important than the other is more like boss and secretary than peers. Many women complain of feeling emotionally drained because they never get ‘me time’ with their friends - all they seem to do is put their energy into making the one feel better.

8. ‘Thou shalt not lie to me’

Friendship, obviously, is all about trust. But it’s not just about sharing secrets, it’s about sharing the truth. Most of us have to spend a lot of the time indulging in little white lies or bloody great big whoppers to get by in our social and professional lives, so it’s refreshing to be able to sit down with a mate and tell it like it is.

9. ‘Thou shalt not ignore me because of a man’

When a girl gets a guy, the best part is rushing to your girlfriend to tell her all about him. Taking about boys, after all, is one of the best parts of a good old girlie natter. While it’s totally acceptable for a girl to jump deep into a relationship if she falls head over heels in love, a friend shouldn’t be neglected for long. She will understand the need to be in each other’s place during the honeymoon period, but if she becomes completely unavailable - then she’s effectively hammering a nail into the coffin of their relationship.

10. ‘Thou shalt not make a pass at me’

Finally, the thorny subject of male friends. Your partner will forever be suspicious of your male friend’s true intensions and, sadly, sometimes he turns out to be right.

 Article by Rupinder Badwal